The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes

blackoutraven: ☠☠☠

blackoutraven:

☠☠☠

terribullshit: snwbll: This is the best thing Gordon Ramsay...

terribullshit:

snwbll:

This is the best thing Gordon Ramsay has ever done

great

smoshrox87: If you don't think Corgis are one of the most...

smoshrox87:

If you don't think Corgis are one of the most adorable things on the planet you're wrong

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malformalady: Girl falls two stories down an elevator shaft...

malformalady:

Girl falls two stories down an elevator shaft breaking her ankle and cutting her foot when she landed on the elevator. This is the light fixture from inside the elevator.

Photo and caption by ashif92 on Reddit

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Black Widow photographed by Marco Grob

Black Widow photographed by Marco Grob

so today I called customer support for my mac

Me: The disk won't eject I've tried ejecting it like twelve hundred times.
Customer-support-guy: Okay have you tried ejecting it from the desktop?
Me: I can't- the computer's frozen.
CSG: Uhm, okay- uh- Jeez this is so not my division.
Me: . . .
Me: What did you just say?
CSG: Have you tried turning it-
Me: Did you just quote Sherlock?
CSG: . . .
CSG: . . .
CSG: You watch-
Me: FUCK YEAH I WATCH. THAT'S THE DISK THAT'S STUCK IN MY COMPUTER.
CSG: OH MY GOD. LEMME HELP YOU- THIS IS A LEGITIMATE EMERGENCY CHRIST ALMIGHTY.
Me: YOU BET IT IS.
*two minutes later the disk is running smoothly*
CSG: So which episode are you watching?
Me: The Great Game.
CSG: Oh my god I'd sell my sister to sleep with Andrew Scott.
Me: Is there some way I can tip you or something?

adornoble: I've been casually trying to find this video on...

adornoble:

I've been casually trying to find this video on tumblr dot com since October when I was hungover and watched it for about 5 minutes without stopping

suffice it to say it is one of the greatest of all existing videos

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...: sometimes I think we would have been so much better togetherin the...

...: sometimes I think we would have been so much better togetherin the...:

provingmyexistence:

sometimes I think we would have been so much better together
in the summertime
sometimes I think
that winter pulled us down
left us with nowhere to go
left us out of places to hide
besides the backseat of my car
sometimes I think
you would have liked me better
with bare legs
and painted toenails
…

someday: provingmyexistence: sometimes I feel like I think of time in a weird...

someday: provingmyexistence: sometimes I feel like I think of time in a weird...:

provingmyexistence:

sometimes I feel like
I think of time
in a weird way
like the way I remember
how long it has been since I last spoke to you
by how long it took to stop snowing
I often think of how long it's been since my brother was born
as two presidential elections
…

madis-hartte: pondspondsponds: #dead #I PHYSICALLY COULDN'T...

madis-hartte:

pondspondsponds:

#dead

#I PHYSICALLY COULDN'T SCROLL PAST OKAY

Fall Out Boy - Saturday

Fall Out Boy - Saturday

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cookieforyou-castiel: i love this emoticon (◕‿◕✿) because i could be talking about...

cookieforyou-castiel:

i love this emoticon (◕‿◕✿)

because i could be talking about puppies (◕‿◕✿)

or cute clothes (◕‿◕✿)

or flowers (◕‿◕✿)

or hard-core BDSM-kinky sex (◕‿◕✿)

or murder (◕‿◕✿)